i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
