You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
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That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
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Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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