Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
