a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize