I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
no you cant smoke seaweed
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
