Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
