doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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