Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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