I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
