I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
