I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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