I got chris browned last night
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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