If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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