she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
