$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
