i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
