That's when you crack a 10am beer
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
