did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
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Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
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Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
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