One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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