i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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