omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
