dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
