I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you play pong handcuffed?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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