you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
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the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
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He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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