Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
