just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
