just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize