apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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