My Higher Power is John Stamos
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
