I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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