im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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