..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
