I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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