Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
