Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
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the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
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I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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