dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
