I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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