I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
