Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
