I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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