We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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