So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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