I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
this will be a night to untag.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
