I just cut my nipple shaving
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
third nipple confirmed
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
