I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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