i already hear my dad disowning me
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
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You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
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I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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