Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
