"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
So squirting runs in the family.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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