Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
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