never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
