nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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