I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
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