You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
