He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
