this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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