im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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