Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
