Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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