the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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