No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
